


To be held

by FiKate



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cassian Andor-centric, F/M, First Kiss, Hugs, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25518811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiKate/pseuds/FiKate
Summary: Cassian grew up with hugs and through his life he pulled away from being held and touches as they're too complicated. These are some of those moments when he was touched and held. Mention of a relationship when Cassian's a teen but with end Jyn/Cassian.Written forCassian Andor appreciation week day 6and the prompt favorite relationships as this fic covers Cassian and his parents, with those within the Rebellion, with Kay and with Jyn. Since I love all of the relationships he has.
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	To be held

Cassian snuggled back into his father, feeling the singing move his hair. The building was shaking but if his father was singing then they would be safe. And he wasn’t going to cry, he’d cried when they found Mama and he didn’t like how it made his father look. But hugs, hugs made everything better.

* * *

Pel twisted his hair around her finger as she draped over him on the U-wing’s seat, “Your hair and your eyes are so dark, I keep looking for stars in them.”

He laughed and she kissed him, repositioning herself to shift against him and he groaned, they were both just able to fit and it was a little privacy for whatever this was. Draven told him to not care too much but life is short and Pel is beautiful and wants him. She wouldn’t always, not when she found out what he was doing on his missions.

* * *

Mast laughed and gave Cassian a thump on the back as he put a drink in his hand, “You look worried, Jeron, have a refill.”

Cassian smiled, Mast’s easy camaraderie always caught him off guard as it reminded him so much of the pilots he’d known when he was younger. But now they were gone and Mast didn’t really know him only the version he showed. He’d still enjoy the comfort of being seen as a friend.

* * *

Kay’s hand landed on Cassian’s shoulder and Cassian almost dropped the blaster he was cleaning, “Kay, is something wrong?”

“No. I have observed that organics will give each other touches on the shoulder as a method of checking in. Since the last mission, you have not been sleeping and eating properly, I thought I would touch your shoulder to show you that I value you and reassure you. Has it improved your mood?” Kay explained while his hand remained a reassuring weight on Cassian.

“I don’t know if its improved my mood, but I do feel better knowing you’re paying attention,” It was nice to have someone watching his back and even his emotions. No one had really done that since Lilah died and he’d pulled away from the younger members of the Rebellion going deeper into his Intelligence work.

* * *

The second time Jyn bumped against him in Jedha, Cassian glanced down at her, she didn’t seem to realize she was doing it. He wasn’t used to anyone other than Kay being this close unless it was for a mission and that didn’t count. It made it easier to know where she was but it was disconcerting.

In what felt like another life, his parents had hugged him and even for a time, he’d kissed Pel before she died. But not since then, it wasn’t safe and the little touches he did during missions were always to reassure his contacts.

* * *

When Jyn yelled at him after Eadu, he expected her to hit him, that would have felt right. A punch, a slap, a point of contact fo punctuate how much she hated him. Instead she’d come close and stared him down but hadn’t touched him. Her eyes were full of incalculable pain, the sort that changed every equation.

* * *

In the hangar, he hadn’t expected her to come so close to meet him, not in front of everyone, not after what had happened. But she did, she was near enough that he could still smell the Eadu damp on her.

Then over Scarif, she touched him and Cassian had smiled at how natural it felt. For a moment, he thought she might come closer but there wasn’t time.

And she’d walked beside him into the shuttle and kept by his side. They’d walked together into the archive and walked out together though he was leaning on her. He’d thought he’d die in her arms and couldn’t think of a better end, better than he deserved and ever expected to get.

* * *

Cassian woke up to the bright lights of the medical bay and looked down as he felt a touch on his hand. Jyn was asleep on the bed, her hair coming loose from her bun and her hand over his. Carefully as he felt sore everywhere, Cassian reached his other hand to touch the top of her head as he said, “Jyn.”

She stirred under his hand and then was in his arms, hugging him and he could smell the light scent that was her. He hugged her back though his back didn’t like that motion and she looked up as if she knew he was in pain, “Cassian.”

Her voice and eyes were full of so much emotion, he squeezed her arm and said, “I’m fine. I’m here. You’re here.”

And she didn’t move out of his arms, she moved closer as she said, “I am.”

The distance between them kept getting smaller until they kissed, he’s not sure who began the kiss just taht it felt right. She moved back as a medic and a medical droid appeared. “We need to examine you, Captain Andor.”

Jyn shifted back from him until she gave his hand a squeeze, “I’m going to tell everyone you’re awake and then I’ll be back.”

He nodded and smiled, for all the pain, he felt hopeful, “I’ll be here.”


End file.
